Personal Story – A Tale of Two Mindsets

Let’s be honest—confidence doesn’t show up equally in every area of life. For example, when it comes to shopping for decor or clothing, I find that I can zero in on what will work for my space or closet with ease. I don’t second-guess myself, and I actually enjoy the process.

Somewhere along the way, I must have built some pretty positive neural pathways around shopping, decorating and putting together outfits.

It’s like my mind has this built-in voice cheering me on, saying, “You’ve got this, Rose. You know what looks good together.” Put me in a shopping situation and I GOT THIS! And I wish I could tell you WHY it’s that way—but it just is!

But when it comes to starting a new career in my 50’s, I’ll be honest, it’s a different story. This isn’t my first career; I was a lawyer before this, and starting over at this age has been a journey filled with doubt. This new path brings up a whole host of thoughts from my inner critic that I never dealt with as a lawyer.

Critical inner dialogue like, “You’re not good enough at this,” or, “Maybe this isn’t meant for you,” or, “You’re too old to start a new career”, comes up more often than I’d like to admit.

It turns out that just as I’ve embedded those positive shopping and decorating beliefs, I’ve also built deeply ingrained doubts about my ability to succeed in a new field at my age. Which is kind of crazy because for my entire adult life friends and family are constantly asking my opinion about decorating and their wardrobe. I’m guessing because they recognize it comes to me fairly naturally.

I know I’m probably not alone when it comes to this “inner critic” thing.

You likely have areas of your life where you feel naturally confident too. But maybe decorating or shopping isn’t one of them—and that’s okay. Recognizing this is the first step. Just as I’m working to silence my inner critic in my new career, you can do the same when it comes to creating a home you truly love.

Understanding the Science – Insights from Mel Robbins and Dr. Jim Doty

The other day, I was out walking my dog, soaking in the beauty around me, and listening to one of my favourite podcasts. (BTW listening to positive podcasts on my walks is one of my tools for staying mindful and grounded—it’s like a little boost for my mindset.)

On this particular walk, I tuned into an episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast where Mel was interviewing Dr. Jim Doty, a Stanford neuroscientist and neurosurgeon.

And WOW—what he shared about the science of thought patterns really hit home for me. It was like a light bulb moment, and I knew it was something I had to share with you.

In this episode, Dr. Doty talks about the power of our brains to shape the way we see ourselves and the world around us. He explains that our inner critic—that voice that makes us question our abilities—isn’t just something we’re “stuck” with. Instead, it’s the result of old thought patterns, or neural pathways, that we’ve built over time, often without even realizing it. And the best part?

Just like we created those pathways, we have the power to create new ones.

Dr. Doty explains that shifting these thoughts isn’t about magic or “woo-woo” thinking—it’s grounded in neuroscience.

By setting positive intentions and engaging multiple senses (like writing, saying, and visualizing our goals), we can start to rewire our brains. Over time, this focus helps create new pathways that reinforce positive beliefs, making it easier to silence that inner critic.

Hearing this made me think of you and the times you might feel overwhelmed or doubtful about your decorating choices. Maybe you’ve had that inner critic pop up, telling you that you’re “not good at this” or that you’ll make the “wrong” choice.

But here’s the truth: you’re not at the mercy of these old beliefs.

Just as Dr. Doty explains, you have the power to reshape these thoughts, to create new pathways that support you rather than hold you back.

I’m here to share these tools with you, to give you hope that you can rewire your brain and start making confident, empowered decisions for your home—decisions that reflect the style and beauty you truly want.

Catch and Challenge Your Inner Critic

Now that we understand where these limiting beliefs come from, it’s time to start SHIFTING THEM.

When it comes to decorating or shopping for your home, that inner critic can be loud—whispering (or shouting) doubts like, “What if I choose the wrong colour?” or, “I’m not creative enough for this.”

But here’s the thing: these thoughts are just stories you’ve told yourself over time. And just like any story, they can be REWRITTEN.

The first step is to CATCH THESE THOUGHTS as they happen.

Start noticing when self-doubt creeps in, whether you’re browsing paint colours or scrolling through design inspiration.

Pause, take a deep breath, and gently observe what that inner critic is saying.

By simply noticing these thoughts without judgment, you’re creating a little bit of space between you and the belief.

Once you’ve caught the thought, it’s time to CHALLENGE IT.

Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” or, “Is this thought helping me reach my goal of creating a home I love?” For example, if you’re telling yourself, “I’m not good at this,” consider flipping it to something more empowering, like, “I’m learning and growing through this process, and I can make choices that feel good to me.”

Another powerful way to reframe is to think of a time when you did make a decision you felt proud of—maybe a small decor choice or a style you pulled together beautifully. Remind yourself of this success, however small it might feel, and let it be evidence that you can make decisions you love.

Every time you catch and challenge a negative thought, you’re breaking down those old pathways and starting to lay down new, positive ones.

Building New, Empowering Neural Pathways

Now that you’re learning to catch and challenge your inner critic, it’s time to take things a step further by creating NEW, EMPOWERING BELIEFS.

Just as Dr. Doty explained, you have the power to rewire your brain by embedding positive intentions through consistent, intentional focus. This isn’t about forcing yourself to be “positive” all the time; it’s about creating a gentle, steady shift toward beliefs that truly support you.

Here’s a simple, three-step approach to start building these new pathways:

1.Set a Positive Intention

• Choose a phrase that reflects the belief you want to strengthen, like “I am capable of creating a beautiful home that feels like me” or “I can make decorating decisions with confidence.” Keep it specific to decorating or styling your home, as this helps your mind connect with the goal directly.

• Write down your intention and place it somewhere you’ll see regularly. Personally, I have a cork board in my workout area where I pin positive reminders. Seeing these words every morning helps keep my mindset in check and starts my day off on the right foot. Find a spot that works for you—whether it’s your phone screen, a sticky note on your mirror, or a journal by your bedside.

2. Engage Multiple Senses

• To help embed this new belief, engage as many senses as possible. Try writing your intention by hand, then reading it out loud, and even visualizing yourself making confident decorating choices. Imagine the feeling of satisfaction and joy that comes from a home that truly reflects you. Personally, as part of my healthy habits, I do a Tony Robbins Priming Exercise several times a week, which includes visualizing myself embodying what I want to bring into my life. It’s a powerful way to ground these intentions and feel them as if they’re already happening.

• Revisit this practice often, especially when you feel doubt creeping in. These small, repetitive actions are what help create strong, supportive neural pathways.

3. Repeat and Reinforce

• Just like any skill, rewiring your brain takes dedication and consistency. I know it might sound too good to be true or too simple, but I can tell you from experience—it actually works! That’s why I’m here blogging to you about this today. I visualized myself building my own brand so I could share these insights with you, even though it felt scary and impossible at first. Over time, the more you repeat your intention and actively visualize it, the stronger that new pathway becomes. Eventually, these empowering beliefs will feel as natural as those old doubts once did.

• Celebrate small wins along the way. Maybe it’s choosing a color you love without second-guessing or putting together a space that feels “just right.” Each step reinforces that you can make decisions you’re proud of.

Moving Forward with Confidence

As you embark on this journey to quiet your inner critic and build new, empowering beliefs, remember that change is a process. It’s completely natural to feel moments of doubt along the way, but every small step is progress. Each time you catch a limiting thought, challenge it, or reinforce a new, supportive belief, you’re reshaping your mind to serve you better.

Your home is more than just a space—it’s a reflection of WHO YOU ARE and who you’re becoming. So take this process one decision at a time, one room at a time, and allow yourself to experiment, to learn, and to create without judgment.

Know that you’re not just decorating; you’re crafting a place that celebrates YOU.

And believe me when I say that I’m here with you on this journey, applying these same principles as I continue to grow in my own career and creative expression. Together, we’re learning to embrace possibility, silence self-doubt, and make confident, heart-centred decisions that reflect our vision.

Here’s to creating a home—and a life—that we truly love!