I’ll be the first to admit it. Scrolling through perfectly curated Instagram feeds sometimes makes me question whether my home really measures up.
Have you ever looked around your own space and felt that twinge of insecurity?
I get it. Even though I’ve taken courses in decorating, paint colours, styling and mindset, I’m not immune to that pressure.
In 2020, we made a big change. We sold our Colonial home during the pandemic and moved into our cottage on the lake. At first, I thought this was just a temporary solution while we worked on building our dream home here. But between pandemic delays, supply shortages, busy contractors, and municipal red tape, that temporary plan stretched into four years.
So, here we are, living in a space that I will occasionally show glimpses of on my Instagram feed (from very strategic angles!). But if I’m being honest, it’s faaaarrrrr from “perfect.”
The kitchen still has the 80’s wood cabinets that we painted when we first bought the place. The old crank windows are a throwback to another era. I’ve hidden the ugly couches with blankets and pillows. There’s no furnace, so we rely on baseboards for heat, and storage? Well, let’s just say that in a family of four with minimal closet space, keeping things organized is extremely challenging.
I’ll admit, I was strategic with this photo—those throws and pillows are doing some serious work hiding our less-than-glamorous couches! Design critics might have a field day with this space, but when it’s neat and tidy, it feels cozy and inviting, and that’s what matters most.
For a while, focusing on all the imperfections seriously got me down—especially after scrolling past all those “picture-perfect” homes online or watching my design shows. The comparison game is easy to fall into, and it left me feeling frustrated with everything this space wasn’t rather than appreciating everything it was.
But then, I realized I was letting a negative mindset get the best of me. Instead of focusing on the negatives, I started to see all the amazing things about this place—especially that view, the reason we chose this lake spot to begin with!
And I realized a huge part of why I wasn’t enjoying or appreciate our home had to do with my THOUGHTS! Yup. What I was thinking.
So I wonder whether you’ve ever found yourself feeling the same way about your home, and if you have, know that you’re not alone. It’s natural to compare, especially in this digital world we live in these days, but it doesn’t mean your home needs to look like an Instagram feed in order to be wonderful.
What I’ve truly learned these past couple of years is that there’s real, authentic beauty in creating a space that feels good to live in, that reflects who we are right now, imperfections and all. So, let’s be a little rebellious and flip the script on what makes a home ‘beautiful.’ Instead of chasing perfection, let’s embrace the charm of real life and all its imperfections.
To help you do just that, here are
5 REFRESHING TRUTHS
to start loving the home you have right now:
Truth No. 1:
Perfection Is Overrated—Focus on What Feels Good
Thought Revolution: In a world filled with “picture-perfect” spaces, we often forget that a beautiful home is one that FEELS good to live in, not just to look at. Those Instagram-worthy homes? The reality is that they are STAGED, STYLED, and TIDIED and then strategically filmed and are not accurately depicting what that home looks like on a typical day. Believe me I know…because I’ve shared my current home on Instagram and I am not showing the cluttered bookshelf or backpacks on the floor or that pile of laundry.
Empowering Shift: Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on what brings you joy and comfort. Maybe it’s a cozy reading nook piled with your favourite blankets, or the hustle and bustle of a kitchen that’s full of life—even if it’s not magazine-ready. Isn’t the most awesome feeling when you’re cooking dinner and everyone starts coming in and that conversation gets going about our days. Who cares if it looks messy. This is what life is about!
So ask yourself, What truly makes me feel at home here? When you start seeing your space through that lens, you’ll discover the beauty in what makes it yours, quirks and all.
Truth No. 2:
Embrace the Journey—A Home Isn’t Built in a Day
Thought Revolution: We often expect our homes to be “finished” or “perfect” right away, but the truth is, creating a home is an ongoing journey. Those flawless homes online didn’t come together overnight, and they likely weren’t effortless either! In fact, I bet a whole crew of people was involved in decorating and staging a lot of them and not just the designer who is floating around in the space with that romantic audio playing in the background.
I am sooooo excited that our new home build is about to start in coming months BUT I will have to continually remind myself of this truth. It will be a long journey and it won’t be perfect like those before and after reveals we see on tv. But isn’t the journey going to be what it makes it feel so awesome when it is finally completed?
Empowering Shift: Give yourself permission to take it slow and enjoy the process of making your home your own. Maybe that means starting with small touches, like adding a plant, hanging a picture, or finding a cozy rug for a corner. Celebrate each step, however small, as part of the journey. A home that grows with you is far more meaningful than a rushed, cookie-cutter version. Let yourself enjoy the layers of memories and personality that build up over time.
Truth No. 3:
Your Home Should Reflect You, Not Trends
Thought Revolution: It’s easy to get swept up in the latest home trends or feel like we need to replicate what’s popular online. But trends come and go, while a home that genuinely reflects who you are will stand the test of time.
Empowering Shift: Focus on bringing pieces, colours, and textures into your space that resonate with you, not what’s trending on social media. If you love vibrant colours or vintage finds, embrace them! Let go of the idea that a “stylish” home has to look a certain way. Instead, ask yourself, What do I want my home to say about me? For example, if the current trend of “colour drenching” in deep, moody purples doesn’t feel like “you,” there’s no need to cover your office walls, ceiling, and trim in it just because it’s popular.
Designing around your personal tastes, rather than trends, will make your home feel uniquely yours—and it’ll be a space you’ll love for years to come.
Truth No. 4:
Embrace the Quirks—They Make Your Home One of a Kind
Thought Revolution: We’re often led to believe that a beautiful home has to be flawless and perfectly matched. But the little quirks—those odd nooks, slanted ceilings, or mismatched finishes—are what make a space feel unique and lived-in.
Empowering Shift: Instead of trying to cover up or “fix” these quirks, embrace them as part of your home’s story. Consider them a reflection of your life and the home’s character. That oddly-shaped corner? Add a cozy chair and make it a reading nook. Those mismatched cabinet handles? Think of them as a touch of charm rather than an imperfection.
Ask yourself, what makes this home uniquely mine? When you start seeing your home’s quirks as character rather than flaws, it becomes a space that’s one of a kind—just like you.
Truth No. 5:
Look for Joy in the Everyday Moments
Thought Revolution: We’re conditioned to think that a beautiful home is always styled, spotless, and photo-ready. But, honestly, wouldn’t a sterile, perfect house be a little… boring?
As I write this, I’m looking over at my dog Wilson lying on the floor with his Kong toy beside him, the pillows half off the couch because my son was just relaxing there as we had a great chat. The table is covered with plans for our new home build. It sure isn’t perfect, and I’m glad there’s no camera crew here.
But really, think about it—there will rarely, if ever, be a camera crew in our homes… so why hold ourselves to that standard?!!!
Empowering Shift: Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on the small moments that bring you joy. Notice the everyday things that make your home feel alive—maybe it’s the morning light streaming through your kitchen window, a cozy corner filled with books, or that familiar spot your pet loves.
Ask yourself, what moments in my home make me happiest? When you start cherishing these real, lived-in moments, you’ll find beauty in ways that no “perfect” picture could ever capture.
“Let’s Wrap This Up with a Little Real Talk“
I feel like I sound like a Mel Robbins podcast saying that…lol. But it’s true! Let’s take a final moment to wrap this up and really THINK about what we’ve been doing to ourselves with our thoughts. Cause it’s time we say “no more” to that comparison game that makes us FEEL bad about our homes and ourselves. Nope. No more!
So if we get scrolling through those beautiful, flawless Instagram spaces, it’s okay to appreciate them—as long as we remember they’re not real life, and we don’t have to hold ourselves to that standard. If you find yourself slipping into comparison, maybe it’s time to take a little break from certain of those accounts.
I’ve actually made a point of following designers, influencers, and bloggers who embrace the beauty of real life, who inspire me without making me feel like my own home isn’t “enough.” And if you’d like to, I’m happy to share some of those accounts with you! Just let me know in the comments.
Because here’s the truth: life’s too short to let comparison and “perfection” steal our joy.
Let’s use those “perfect” spaces as inspiration, sure, but always come back to what matters most—creating homes that are warm, authentic, and real. A home where you feel free to be yourself, to make memories, and to embrace every lovely, messy, beautiful moment.
After all, that’s where the real beauty lies.
